I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize