id be glad to
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
