Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
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Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
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It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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