none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
