lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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