Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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