Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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