I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
