Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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