Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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