sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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