Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
