so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
