I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
