Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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