one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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