Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
