why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
