I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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