Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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