Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
