Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize