You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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