We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
