I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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