I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
