Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
