Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
