Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
