believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
