so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
