you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
