I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
