I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize