it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."