i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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