Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
