I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
