You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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