Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
