whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
