You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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