I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize