I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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