Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
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These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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