my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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