checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
