Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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