Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
