I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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