a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
