Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
