so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
