On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhhâ€
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