She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize