I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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