mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
