Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
