My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
