party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
