hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize